Compound Interest

This is a story about how hard it is being TMAME.

SRSLY!

So, one evening, not too long ago I was telling Jinian about a MFM I was setting up for a lady I met on Ashley Madison.  She then informed me that I had never set up an MFM for her.

What?  After almost two years and many many many forms of kink and multiple partner scenes, was it possible that I had missed the simple and fun combination?  Why yes apparently it was.  I thought quickly and settled on Mr. Bakery for the other M in question.  This was most acceptable to Jinian.

After these set ups, another woman I had met and played sadistically with on fetlife informed me that she would like an MFM too.  I went forth and called upon my kink-buddies to help set up yet another MFM.  

Are you counting?  That's three count them three MFMs all within the space of about a month.

I figured I should thank Mrs. Bakery for her contribution to the project.  I offered her some free rigging, a personal pick-me-up call, or really anything she could desire that was within my means to provide.  She thought about it and told me that she's really like MFFF.  I knew Jinian & Eris would be more than happy to be the FF of the equation and I told her that it would be no problem to send the two of them over for her desire.  I figured Mr. Bakery would not be displeased at this outcome either.  Then Mrs. Bakery laid the bombshell on me.

She wanted me to be the M of her MFFF.

What have a learned from this - the work of TMAME is never finished!

Matson Jones

NYC was an exercise in contradictions. Eris & I were ostensibly there for the sex blogger calendar party, but we got way more than just a party. We got an inflection point experience.  I must thank Diva & Tess for the invite, and for the experience.

The pace of our adventure was alternatively languorous breakfast, followed by torpid waiting, then manic celebration all topped off with exhausted late-night dining.

The party itself was an event of introverted horrors. I, nor Eris for that matter, are comfortable in serious crowds of over 100 people. It's not that we don't enjoy the crush of large groups, it's just that we function better in the small. The irony of this was seeing many calendar models like Audacia go through the same thing in person. I will have to say the best part of my evening for the party was hawking calendars with Max Lagos and Janeygirrl. If you missed this snappy patter in person, I'll replay it here.

Me: Hey do you have you NYC Sex-bloggers calendar? All proceeds go to SWA.
Attendee: I've already got mine.
Me: Well, do you have someone else's calendar?
Attendee: *looking puzzled* No...
Me: You should get them one!

The next day saw Eris and I wandering Manhattan and Chinatown. The thing we learned about Manhattan was that it was all the same freaking shops we have here (United States of Generica), but they're at the bottom of 30-story buildings. Chinatown was packed and probably the most interesting place we went during the whole trip. Jewelers right next to open fish markets - what a place. It was also the home of the $3 dumpling soup meal that fed the both of us.

We also went to ground zero.

Early in the evening we attended Monk's class on sensual bondage.  It was a great experience and one I won't soon forget.  It was also way too short.  He's an awesome instructor and knows how to make everyone feel comfortable.  His passion for his work shows through as well.  You really can't ask much more of a teacher.

Later that evening we went to an SWA event that covered Audacia's trip to India as well as some of the other work that SWA has been doing. It was very interesting to see Ms. Ray in a more comfortable environment. Methinks she's also an extroverted introvert like myself. She was *far* more comfortable when there weren't 200 other people around. Talking with Audacia, Melissa Gira, and Melissa Ditmore was fascinating and we'll both be supporting their ongoing work for sex-worker's rights.

I would also be remiss if I didn't mention all of the fantabulous twitter-ati that we managed to meet in person - butchtastickyle, sroxy, coyotetoo, b_playful, badbadgirlx, and firecatkitty.  It was a pleasure to meet  you all.

Thus spake the oracle

Everything has turned out as I predicted, but not as I foresaw.

Morpheus...

Being married to an amazingly hot woman, smart, and sexual woman is a thrill a minute.  Mostly they go like this - amazingly hot and vibrant woman walks into a room, all eyes turn to her, and much attention is paid to her.  Meanwhile, even as awesome as one is, one is really second fiddle to the rest of the hoi-polloi  in terms of attention shown. 

I've learned to live with this 'vibe' of our local swing community.  After all, I'm no one of consequence.  I'm just the person that provides the stability and male half of our wonderful relationship - pay no attention to the flying buttress that supports the stained glass.  I'm used to the gawkers and admirers of this locale.  It's no big deal, I can handle them.

Eventually someone of  note will notice how well you have done, now it is gut-check time.

Do you remember that scene at the end of the Matrix where Neo is in fighting the agents and everyone on the ship is ready for the sentinel attack?  Morpheus has put everything in order and lived up to his vision.  He has tried to position everyone to succeed in the coming fight.  He is putting his ideals and vision on the line to defeat the Matrix.  His intro into the final scene begins with him being outnumbered, out-gunned, and trapped.  He looks up to the camera with his hand on the panic button and utters these words:

"Here they come."

Well in a little over one week, they'll be coming.

Have I really cemented a relationship based on trust, mutual love, and unfathomable dedication.  Have I done everything I can do support and care for one person as best I could?  Have I truly made a following of perfection that nothing can shake.  Can I work through my own personal insecurities and really be TMAME.  Do I have the courage to live up to and through  my ideals?

In a little over one week, We'll be at the party of the year, hob-nobbing with the rock-stars and idols of the kink world.  Does what we've manged to create in our tiny flyover world withstand the glitter & glitz of NYC?  Can I sit at the bar with the rock-stars and  hold my own?

In a little over one week, we'll find out.

Here they come...

Funniest thing I've read today

This is why you need to have friends that are into books.

pp. 122-123

...Also, we learned that the penis - root and stalk together - "has the shape of a boomerang" during intercourse.  (Leonardo [da Vinci] had drawn it stick-straight.) But not its precise dynamics.   If you hurl an uprooted penis into the air, it will not come back to you.  It will most likely, and who can blame it, want nothing to do with you.

I really need to post something

Anything really, with an upcoming swingereen and NYC sex-calender blogger party coming up, I should have something to say!

Pimping ain't easy

I've been reading Kyra's blog(invite only) for a bit and browsing a few of the comments.  The funniest thing I find there is that as Kyra is going through men for potential hookups, the gallery encourages her to just drop guy x and move on to guy y.  This seems to be quite common in sex-blogger comments in general.

The amazingly humorous thing about this is that finding people to shag is easy, but finding people to have really amazing sex with is fucking hard, seriously fucking hard.  It's like banging your head and genitals into a brick wall covered with glass which is also next to a carnivorous ant farm.  Yes, you can bash your head into another part of the wall, but the results will be remarkably similar.

How do I know this?

Multiple bad hookups.  

Swinging has been a lot like dating but in many ways worse when it goes badly.  Even in a room of people ostensibly looking for the same thing there are those that you will have magic wonderful sex with and those you'd rather shove into the aforementioned wall.

Jumping from lovers to lovers sounds like this great thing, but the most amazing thing about it is that those people are mostly imaginary.  Now maybe some people are the type that just roll into a club and find people to have wild chandelier swinging sex with on a regular basis?  For the rest of us, there's the long hard slog to find someone worth getting naked.  Eris and I and Jinian and many of the other swing folks we know are still working on that.

You meet someone, nothing happens and all of the sudden

*bang* you're off talking about how much you enjoy certain kinky things and how far down the road of depravity she wants to go.

Hi there, I'm back - and front for that matter.  For once, I've had luck meeting a woman online and turning that into an actual face-to-face encounter - whee!

It was awesome, it was amazing, it was beyond words; ok so it was kind of 'blah' on both of  our parts.  The amazing thing was is that while we liked each other, we didn't feel any electric chemistry whizzing around in our brains.  It was odd, as Kyra noted, we are kind of a good match - in electrons.

Ah well, at least I've made another kink friend IRL.

Care and feeding of paramours

I'm going to confess something right now that I've never really typed or spoken aloud.

I really really really really care for my paramour.  

No, I'm not talking, or even thinking, about leaving Eris.  She is and always will be the love of my life.

This isn't some sappy infatuation of first rush romance.  This is a deep and abiding care for her ongoing happiness.  

For instance: I was discussing her with Diva the other night.  I said about her: She's truly wonderful. She's smart, funny, pretty, submissive, etc. Of course all this means she's had horrible luck trying to actually date men.

This makes me sad for her.  I want her to be happy.  It would be awesome if she could find a guy who understands what makes our friendship fun in the sack, but I'd be happy to forego any carnal relathions with her if she found a guy who was just crazy for her.
However, since some smart guy hasn't figured out that she's a true catch, it's still up to me to help her with her lustful needs.  She works crazy mad hours, but last week she texted me to tell me she had a night off.  I was overjoyed at this revelation and asked her what she wanted to do with her day off.  Her reply was:

I want kinky sex.

I can help with those needs.  My first thought was that the kinky sex should involve at least myself and Eris, and rope.  This would be plenty kinky, but since I hadn't seen her in a while I thought I'd kick it up a notch.

I called the bakery couple.  Bakery couple is a couple we've been with before and we've really enjoyed.  Last year for Eris' birthday, Jinian, I, and bakery couple had a menage a cinq at chez nous.  This time it was a surprise menage at Jinian's.

Jinian was quite pleasantly surprised when we all arrived at the door.  We all had some wine and chatted for a while, then we absconded to the budoir.  Most of the evening was spent with Jinian bound for our pleasure along with a suitable amount of team flogging her lovely tush, back, and legs.  Since it was her night off, I thought she should be the center of attention.

After the licking, sucking, flogging, and shagging, the five of us all lay naked on the bed cuddling and caressing.  That might have been the most awesome part of the night, well that and Mr. Baker's art on Mrs. Baker's backside.  As we arrive home, Jinian sent me a lovely thank you for making her feel spoiled.

I honestly wish I had the time to spoil her more often.  For now, I'll just have to make her beg for kinky sex more often.

Fromage tres bonne

I must wish a very close friend of mine good luck with her Stilton encounter upcoming.  It can be an acquired taste, but I think after the initial shock she'll become quite accustomed to the flavor.

Blog friends

I'm chatting right now with an online friend about some horrible horrible things that have happened to her recently.  I just want her to know that I'll be rooting for her, and will always have a hand to help and a hug for comfort.

Take care of yourself.

o-fer

This is our third time out with no joy.  I'm not sure what it is with the swing scene around here.  In my darker moments I have the following thoughts:

• We're not as sexy as we think we are.
• I'm killing Eris' mojo.
• These people are all smoke no fire.
• These people are ashamed of what they're doing.
• These people don't decide on coupling until 2 a.m., and then do it poorly.

I'm not sure what to make of this recent lack of joy.  We're really not that hard to pick up.  We're kind of easy to be candid.  However, we turn into pumpkins at midnight.  I'm not sure these people (the smug urban hipsters) get the fact that we have very tiny sex trophies that will demand outrageous things like food at 7:00 a.m. the next morning no matter how late we've stayed out.

This was a 'takeover' event.  I.e. there were only swing-people at this bar.  The women were in something skimpy and the guys were there.  I was big-pimpin' but that's just the way I roll.

Anyway, we hung out, mingled, and flirted.  BTW I'm an overt flirt.  You really don't have to guess if I'm at all interested.  As I if you say something as demure as 'hold on you're in for a wild ride', don't be surprised if I turn you around pull you close to me and say 'giddy-up'.  Apparently, that's a bit to subtle for some folks.

The oddest thing was that if you hadn't have known these were swing-folk, you couldn't have know it from their behavior.  Everyone just stood around and talked.  We danced a bit and that was it.  After a while, we kind of got the message that no one was flirting with us, nor about to ask us back to their hotel room so we went home.

I'm still perplexed.

Hwæt!...in geardagum

The story of how I got into the lifestyle is quite a long and complex one.  I didn't start off my marriage to Eris with the plan of corrupting her.  I had fantasized that hey maybe we could have a threesome, but that was never the goal from the outset.  However, I'm getting ahead of myself.

This story is long and strange.  I thought about writing the whole thing in Old English just to establish my sex-geek cred, but I'll keep thing relatively modern.  It does happen to start a long long time ago - decades even.

I was a sexually precocious child.  I can recall having my first masturbatory orgasm around age eleven or twelve.  From there, it was straight into teenage wankdom and the requisite religious guilt surrounding that; self-inflicted I might add.  There was also the tiny worry of total  nuclear annihilation.  It wasn't exactly a sex-positive environment.  However, my parents were pretty progressive and never lectured me on the evils of masturbation etc.  For that, I thank them.  I can remember my total mortification when they found one of my magazines.  My mother was laughing, I wanted to die. 

I had my first actual sexual experience with a girl around the age of fourteen on a school bus, during the afternoon - hands down her pants to be precise - but I fumbled and managed no further damage than massaging her pubic bone.  

It was another two years before I would lose my virginity in another public place.  Let's just say it was at night, near the water.  It was mind-bending for a kid who was just starting to drive.  In all honesty it was probably better than it should have been.  I chalk that up to the hours of foreplay we had before the sex.  It was elating enough just to be having sex at all.  To have it in public from a girl(she was seventeen) who even told me I made her climax twice was even more mind-altering.  I was head-over-heels in lust.  I wanted a lot more sex, too bad we only managed to get busy two more times.  From there recriminations were had since she was seeing another guy.  Lies were told, face was saved, it was teenage sex-drama at it's most inane.  It was another year before I would get laid again.  Growing up in the sticks has a way of limiting one's mating opportunities.  That plus my own unrealistic expectations of women and my own social ineptness kept my wood quite dry.

The next time at least I got laid by a former bi-sexual stripper - go me, score!  I had a good friend who was had class with her.  She was all of half-decade older than I plus she had red hair.  Once again I was in lust.  We actually got a long quite well in an odd sort of way.  She couldn't believe she could stand someone my age.  I didn't quite get this until I turned twenty-five and considered dating eighteen through twenty year-olds.  Unfortunately, she moved away and we never got the chance to any further.  The bi-sexuality got my young brain thinking 'Hey, she likes girls and boys, maybe she'd bring home another girl!'  This was a long time before I understood how bi-sexuality really works.  After all, the only thing I'd had to learn from was Penthouse letters.  Did you know that some of them may just be made up?  Why did no one tell me that?

I was a confused, horny, and perverse twenty-something.  It was a bitch being a clueless horny geek with no prospects of getting laid.  This contributed to a lot of anxieties and needless worry.  Magic was not far around the corner though - serious magic. 

It has been decided!

Through some furious texting back and forth, paramour #1 has finally been given a stage/pen/rigging name.

Ladies & Gentleman, TVs & TSs of all orientations, I present Jinian, the paramour who brings pleasure, laughter, and the occasional perspective change into Eris' and my life.

No she doesn't have a blog, for now she's a fictionalized real person.  However, I do get to see  her tomorrow night.

Update, due to other issues, tonight has been postponed to another - dang!

Morning fantasies

Eris and I are going out to a 'lifestyle' event in a few weeks.  The event areas promised lots of private and secluded areas for frisky fun.

This bit of news awakened my inner rigger.  What could I do with a bound sub(s) in a few secluded areas and a lot of time?  I know - tie her/them up with instruction placards!

First area: Tied lovely elbows & hands behind her back with the placard
Feel me.  Anywhere on my body but only over the clothes.

Second area (Either later with the same lovely or a different one): Bound with arms to the side and legs slightly akimbo, clothing open with the placard
Fondle Me.  Feel free to arouse my erogenous zones in whatever manner you desire.  Vibratory toys may be left on a side table to help.

Third area: Tied to a table skirt lifted, undergarments removed, and blindfolded with the placard 
Fuck Me.  Vaginal only. Condom required.  Lead me up to or over the climactic peak.

Fourth area: Bound to a bench, clothing removed with soft/medium implements available 
Flog me.  Make me moan and cry but within limits.  Safeword: Diva.

I have no idea what brings these thoughts on at these odd times, but I'm not about to stop them

Twitter mosaics

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Thanks twitter mosaic.