Little green monsters

Diva had asked me this in chat, and the subject also came up the other evening with a dinner guest.

That subject is jealousy as in is there any, or how do you control it since the both of you are consorting with paramours.  Here's a chat transcript with some editing:

Debauched: Is there ever any jealousy
TMAME: About what?
Debauched: the other people you are both involved with 

TMAME: No, we both know and have met them. Secondly our involvement with them is peripheral to our marriage.  We've even both played with them on Eris' birthday week. MFF was with my paramour and MFM was with hers.  She's been with two other guys but they spazzed on her a bit so she's never seen them again, plus we still play together.  The only jealously I've experience is just the ease with which an available woman can attract men.   My groove took a little longer to return.

Our agreement is that we will never hide anything from each other, and that our relationship is always always the #1 thing.  We've also got our rules for our 'nights out'.   It's one night every other week and we're always home by midnight unless there's some special situation (travel, etc.)

Debauched: All of this is new to me.  Until I found sex blogs I didn't know about a marriage like yours or the one Tess has It would be nice if my husband would have an open marriage but that will never happen.
TMAME:I'd say our marriage is closed, but our bedroom is open.  I'm very fortunate to have found Eris.

Debauched: Sounds like you are, was your marriage always like this?
TMAME: No, we started out pretty conventionally. I had had a very wild side before I met Eris(I was a male dancer), but Eris grew up very repressed.  However, when I met Eris she was way more sane than any of the other women I'd dated and I could trade the wild & crazy sex for just good sex and sanity.  I never thought I'd be able to live my dream relationship on the day I met her.  I just knew I loved her.  During the time before her awakening I just tried to love her unconditionally.  We'd always had a good marriage because I wisely married someone that was always interesting to me.  She still fascinates me every day.

Debauched: that is really sweet
TMAME: Thanks, you should hear it in person - bring waffles.
Debauched: waffles?
TMAME: Sweet, syrup...
That's how sweet it is :-D

In short, we keep the green monster contained by limiting our time outside of our relationship, plus we're still crazy for each other.  That, above all else, helps keep our relationship going.  The lifestyle has also enabled us to talk more openly about our sex life and keep our communication free-flowing.  We don't let things build, we try to get our expectations out in the open as soon as possible.

I can't say that what we do would work for every non-monogamous couple, but what we have works for us.

Strange days

I was going to blog about something that the divine Diva and I had discussed in a chat, but that will have to wait.

I am going to take you on my strange and wild adventure of last evening.

I met a couple who had emailed me on one of the swinger sites I frequent.  I'm not going to give you the site name, nor link to it because they get plenty of traffic and I don't really like the site.  Regardless, I'm listed on this site as a single straight male.

OMG, I've lied about my marital status!  No, not really.  Look we have hall passes, but no one believes an otherwise attached man could be out and about without philandering on his spouse.  

Hi, I'm spouse X from couple Y and I saw you single lady/attractive couple... *delete*.  It's not worth the hassle, so I'm listing myself as single and then coming 'clean' as it were during the first meeting.  I have no time to BS anyone.  If they're freaked out at that point, too bad.  They can call TLOML to verify my status.

So I meet couple Y.  Couple Y is an older couple and I knew that they were probably a bit outside of their posted age range.  However, they had been very patient with me and the seemed nice enough so I met them at a local eatery.  We chit-chatted for a while and I 'came clean' as it were and they didn't run screaming.  They invited me over to their place.  I wasn't feeling too lustful at this point, but I figured I'd be gracious and accept.  I also figured we could talk more freely out of the public eye.

I get over to their place and they go immediately to their basement.  It's a typical finished basement set - entertainment set, cheap carpeting, knick-knacks, bar, and a bed - hmmmm.  Oh well, we have a drink.  BTW never mix 7up and aged rum - it's awful.  Mr. Y has rubbed my shoulder on a couple of occasions and I just think that's him being friendly.  Some guys are like that, very touchy.  No problem, the Mrs. is showing interest in me and I'm getting my randy up.

During the time I'm making out with Mrs. the Mr. is rubbing my shoulder and telling me how good I look.  At this point, I feel the need to make something clear.  "I'm not bi" I say.  That's ok, says the Mr. it's all cool.  I told him I was fine with the touching and back rub, but that's about as far as it goes.  He made an offer to perform some oral pleasure on me, which I had to politely decline.  I'm just not comfortable with that right now.  The touching is ok, but the sucking would have been weird.

What I hadn't realized was that their profile listed him as 'bi'.  That totally threw me for a loop.  Mrs. likes me, but Mr. wants to get me naked.  He strips me down and shows my low body-fat chest and abs to the Mrs. who is very appreciative, but I keep thinking that he is the one who's really turned on by all of this.

We proceed to the bed and start our fun time - well my fun time with the Mrs.  It's fine, he's encouraging me to shag his wife rotten and I oblige.  It's at this point I realize that I like to be the stud on show.  The Mrs. is not a blazing beauty, but you know, the thought of being the guy to fuck another guy's wife in front of him while he's cheering me on just gets me going.  During this first go-round he's touching my arms, back, and legs while I'm betwixt his mate's legs.  It's interesting, but it's a bit like getting a chair massage during sex.  He's encouraging me and flattering me so it's all good if a bit weird.

We go for a while then take a break.  During this break we chit-chat some more, and they're both snuggling me in the middle - he's a bit closer than her.  Again, it's not that I dislike it or am uncomfortable with it,  it just doesn't do anything for me.  It's nice, but it's not sexual for me at all.

During this rest period I have a bit of an epiphany on their relationship.  She likes screwing other men, but she wouldn't do it on her own if it wasn't such a big turn on for her husband.  He likes lifestyling because it affords him the chance to watch and be with other guys.  It works for them because, they both like guys. 

After this break we resume our shagging festivities and I make my way out.  I thank them for being gracious hosts and wish them well.  As I leave I decide I should really have a drink to get my thoughts in order.  I proceed over to a favorite bar of mine and swill back a wonderful concoction so I can gather my thoughts.  I text TLOML and PP#2 about the night's outings.  They're dying for details.  I give TLOML the run down when I get home.  PP#2, will see this when she reads it or the next time we get together I'll tell her.

I probably will see them again.  It was an interestng experience and I'm hoping to see if the Mrs. gets a bit more enthusiastic the second time.  I know the Mr. will still be cheering me.  I would like to find another, younger couple with a similar situation though i.e. he likes watching his wife be done by another man.  I do like being the guy out front.  It appeals to my inner exhibitionist.

I don't live in reality, I live in surreality.

It's my own special place!

How is it hellish to enjoy all sorts of sexual mischief?

Your result for The Sexual HELL Test...

HELL LEVEL 3

Raw score: 86%

There's a special place in Hell for you: the basement penthouse. You scored the nastiest possible score on the Sexual Hell Test. You have no sexual restraint whatsoever. You'll take pleasure however you can get it, and my guess is you get it a lot. If for some reason you don't right now, you will soon, as people in your category only tend to spiral down ever deeper into the abyss of carnality and delicious sin. Congratulations.


I, personally, think that this category is the best. Paradoxically enough, sexual liberation and indulgence can only bring you closer to purity.


AVOID: all but level 3 hellions like yourself. You wouldn't want to ruin anyone, now would you?

Take The Sexual HELL Test at HelloQuizzy

Bugging for posts

Someone told me that she'd like it if I posted more often to this blog.  I would never want to disappoint a wonderful woman like that so I've decided to get posting.

Today was awesome!  Go ahead ask me why!

I got to meet and chat with a beautiful and sharp potential paramour.   Hold on, let me give you a scorecard.  There are several women in my life that would deign to have wild crazy sex with me

1. TLOML - she's hooked into me by contract so it's lucky that we're both still crazy for one another.
2. Paramour #1 - she's a wonderful sub who loves to service me.  She and I are our regular extra-curricular partners.  She's a willing participant in my BDSM needs, and a true pain-lover
3. Potential paramour #1 - we've had a couple of outings and a whole lot of courtly SMS.  It's been fun, but our logistics aren't working
4. Potential paramour #2 - she is the subject of today.  Right now we're involved in courtly SMS, but we may take it further if the logistics work.
5. Other women I've met but for scheduling or other reasons haven't reached the stage of potentiality

Ok, PP#2 and I got to sit down for a chat today.  We had SMSd each other and made our mutual desires clear.  I think she found it refreshing and somewhat surprising how direct I was.  Within five minutes I was explaining to her why I could meet with her, how it was that TLOML would approve of our rendezvous, and if she knew what the hell she was doing.

After explaining to my satisfaction that she and I were good in the no-drama causing side-effects discussion we had a wonderful chat about things she'd like to do, has done, and possibly will do in the future.  As a gentleman, I walked her out to her car and received a wonderful hug and kiss from this beauty.

That sent the rest of my day on an emotional high.  Then, as if that weren't enough, I was lucky enough to chat with the Diva herself.  That's right, I swapped fingerings with the Debauched Domestic Diva herself!  We had a lovely conversation, parts of which will be the subject of  future post.

I'll keep you posted

It's just my bag baby

Your result for The Lover Style Profile Test...

The Liberated Lover

Based on the results of this test, it is highly likely that:



You prefer your romance and love to wild and daring rather than typical or boring, you would rather pursue than be pursued and, when it comes to physical love, your satisfaction comes more from providing a wonderful time to your partner than simply seeking your own.



This places you in the Lover Style of: The Liberated Lover.



The Liberated Lover is a wonderful Lover Style, and forms the kind of free-thinking, sexually-exciting, self-confident lover that society once condemned but that a liberal-mind cherishes and exults. The Liberated Lover is a treasure to find, though it can sometimes be difficult to do so because they are often already engaged in relationships or are in high-demand if "in the market."



In terms of physical love, the Liberated Lover is possibly the most thrilling and demanding of all, with the one potential drawback being that it is possible to feel 'overmatched' at times by their prowess and selfless giving. Given trust and understanding, and the right lover, the Liberated Lover can be a delight in bed.



Best Compatibility can probably be found with: The Exotic Lover (most of all) or the Carnal Lover, or the Suave Lover.



Congratulations!



If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following:



Nerds, Geeks & Dorks



Professional Wrestling




Buffy the Vampire Slayer




America/Politics





Thanks Again! -- THE LOVER STYLE PROFILE TEST

Take The Lover Style Profile Test at HelloQuizzy

So, who are you shagging lately

There is my SO, my #1 and the luckiest woman on earth.  I'm shagging her relentlessly and ruthlessly on a regular basis.  She is my main pleasure receiver, my B to her D, my S to her M.

There's also paramour #1.  She's the sufferer, and suffer well she does.  We have a very fun relationship where I make her whimper before we get to banging each other.

Then there are those in the wings.

Posting of note

Well I've managed to make it almost a year without posting, but vanity has taken the better of me. Going forward, I'm likely to keep updating everyone, on my relentlessly normal sexual activities.