Compound Interest

This is a story about how hard it is being TMAME.

SRSLY!

So, one evening, not too long ago I was telling Jinian about a MFM I was setting up for a lady I met on Ashley Madison.  She then informed me that I had never set up an MFM for her.

What?  After almost two years and many many many forms of kink and multiple partner scenes, was it possible that I had missed the simple and fun combination?  Why yes apparently it was.  I thought quickly and settled on Mr. Bakery for the other M in question.  This was most acceptable to Jinian.

After these set ups, another woman I had met and played sadistically with on fetlife informed me that she would like an MFM too.  I went forth and called upon my kink-buddies to help set up yet another MFM.  

Are you counting?  That's three count them three MFMs all within the space of about a month.

I figured I should thank Mrs. Bakery for her contribution to the project.  I offered her some free rigging, a personal pick-me-up call, or really anything she could desire that was within my means to provide.  She thought about it and told me that she's really like MFFF.  I knew Jinian & Eris would be more than happy to be the FF of the equation and I told her that it would be no problem to send the two of them over for her desire.  I figured Mr. Bakery would not be displeased at this outcome either.  Then Mrs. Bakery laid the bombshell on me.

She wanted me to be the M of her MFFF.

What have a learned from this - the work of TMAME is never finished!

Matson Jones

NYC was an exercise in contradictions. Eris & I were ostensibly there for the sex blogger calendar party, but we got way more than just a party. We got an inflection point experience.  I must thank Diva & Tess for the invite, and for the experience.

The pace of our adventure was alternatively languorous breakfast, followed by torpid waiting, then manic celebration all topped off with exhausted late-night dining.

The party itself was an event of introverted horrors. I, nor Eris for that matter, are comfortable in serious crowds of over 100 people. It's not that we don't enjoy the crush of large groups, it's just that we function better in the small. The irony of this was seeing many calendar models like Audacia go through the same thing in person. I will have to say the best part of my evening for the party was hawking calendars with Max Lagos and Janeygirrl. If you missed this snappy patter in person, I'll replay it here.

Me: Hey do you have you NYC Sex-bloggers calendar? All proceeds go to SWA.
Attendee: I've already got mine.
Me: Well, do you have someone else's calendar?
Attendee: *looking puzzled* No...
Me: You should get them one!

The next day saw Eris and I wandering Manhattan and Chinatown. The thing we learned about Manhattan was that it was all the same freaking shops we have here (United States of Generica), but they're at the bottom of 30-story buildings. Chinatown was packed and probably the most interesting place we went during the whole trip. Jewelers right next to open fish markets - what a place. It was also the home of the $3 dumpling soup meal that fed the both of us.

We also went to ground zero.

Early in the evening we attended Monk's class on sensual bondage.  It was a great experience and one I won't soon forget.  It was also way too short.  He's an awesome instructor and knows how to make everyone feel comfortable.  His passion for his work shows through as well.  You really can't ask much more of a teacher.

Later that evening we went to an SWA event that covered Audacia's trip to India as well as some of the other work that SWA has been doing. It was very interesting to see Ms. Ray in a more comfortable environment. Methinks she's also an extroverted introvert like myself. She was *far* more comfortable when there weren't 200 other people around. Talking with Audacia, Melissa Gira, and Melissa Ditmore was fascinating and we'll both be supporting their ongoing work for sex-worker's rights.

I would also be remiss if I didn't mention all of the fantabulous twitter-ati that we managed to meet in person - butchtastickyle, sroxy, coyotetoo, b_playful, badbadgirlx, and firecatkitty.  It was a pleasure to meet  you all.

Thus spake the oracle

Everything has turned out as I predicted, but not as I foresaw.

Morpheus...

Being married to an amazingly hot woman, smart, and sexual woman is a thrill a minute.  Mostly they go like this - amazingly hot and vibrant woman walks into a room, all eyes turn to her, and much attention is paid to her.  Meanwhile, even as awesome as one is, one is really second fiddle to the rest of the hoi-polloi  in terms of attention shown. 

I've learned to live with this 'vibe' of our local swing community.  After all, I'm no one of consequence.  I'm just the person that provides the stability and male half of our wonderful relationship - pay no attention to the flying buttress that supports the stained glass.  I'm used to the gawkers and admirers of this locale.  It's no big deal, I can handle them.

Eventually someone of  note will notice how well you have done, now it is gut-check time.

Do you remember that scene at the end of the Matrix where Neo is in fighting the agents and everyone on the ship is ready for the sentinel attack?  Morpheus has put everything in order and lived up to his vision.  He has tried to position everyone to succeed in the coming fight.  He is putting his ideals and vision on the line to defeat the Matrix.  His intro into the final scene begins with him being outnumbered, out-gunned, and trapped.  He looks up to the camera with his hand on the panic button and utters these words:

"Here they come."

Well in a little over one week, they'll be coming.

Have I really cemented a relationship based on trust, mutual love, and unfathomable dedication.  Have I done everything I can do support and care for one person as best I could?  Have I truly made a following of perfection that nothing can shake.  Can I work through my own personal insecurities and really be TMAME.  Do I have the courage to live up to and through  my ideals?

In a little over one week, We'll be at the party of the year, hob-nobbing with the rock-stars and idols of the kink world.  Does what we've manged to create in our tiny flyover world withstand the glitter & glitz of NYC?  Can I sit at the bar with the rock-stars and  hold my own?

In a little over one week, we'll find out.

Here they come...

Funniest thing I've read today

This is why you need to have friends that are into books.

pp. 122-123

...Also, we learned that the penis - root and stalk together - "has the shape of a boomerang" during intercourse.  (Leonardo [da Vinci] had drawn it stick-straight.) But not its precise dynamics.   If you hurl an uprooted penis into the air, it will not come back to you.  It will most likely, and who can blame it, want nothing to do with you.

I really need to post something

Anything really, with an upcoming swingereen and NYC sex-calender blogger party coming up, I should have something to say!

Pimping ain't easy

I've been reading Kyra's blog(invite only) for a bit and browsing a few of the comments.  The funniest thing I find there is that as Kyra is going through men for potential hookups, the gallery encourages her to just drop guy x and move on to guy y.  This seems to be quite common in sex-blogger comments in general.

The amazingly humorous thing about this is that finding people to shag is easy, but finding people to have really amazing sex with is fucking hard, seriously fucking hard.  It's like banging your head and genitals into a brick wall covered with glass which is also next to a carnivorous ant farm.  Yes, you can bash your head into another part of the wall, but the results will be remarkably similar.

How do I know this?

Multiple bad hookups.  

Swinging has been a lot like dating but in many ways worse when it goes badly.  Even in a room of people ostensibly looking for the same thing there are those that you will have magic wonderful sex with and those you'd rather shove into the aforementioned wall.

Jumping from lovers to lovers sounds like this great thing, but the most amazing thing about it is that those people are mostly imaginary.  Now maybe some people are the type that just roll into a club and find people to have wild chandelier swinging sex with on a regular basis?  For the rest of us, there's the long hard slog to find someone worth getting naked.  Eris and I and Jinian and many of the other swing folks we know are still working on that.