I've been reading Kyra's blog(invite only) for a bit and browsing a few of the comments. The funniest thing I find there is that as Kyra is going through men for potential hookups, the gallery encourages her to just drop guy x and move on to guy y. This seems to be quite common in sex-blogger comments in general.
The amazingly humorous thing about this is that finding people to shag is easy, but finding people to have really amazing sex with is fucking hard, seriously fucking hard. It's like banging your head and genitals into a brick wall covered with glass which is also next to a carnivorous ant farm. Yes, you can bash your head into another part of the wall, but the results will be remarkably similar.
How do I know this?
Multiple bad hookups.
Swinging has been a lot like dating but in many ways worse when it goes badly. Even in a room of people ostensibly looking for the same thing there are those that you will have magic wonderful sex with and those you'd rather shove into the aforementioned wall.
Jumping from lovers to lovers sounds like this great thing, but the most amazing thing about it is that those people are mostly imaginary. Now maybe some people are the type that just roll into a club and find people to have wild chandelier swinging sex with on a regular basis? For the rest of us, there's the long hard slog to find someone worth getting naked. Eris and I and Jinian and many of the other swing folks we know are still working on that.
2 comments:
I actually think the commenters are pretty well-intentioned.
But to your point. Yep, it's hard. I don't know how people manage it and also take care of all else in their lives. I think if I go through it again I'll have to take a different approach. It's difficult to be bombarded with contacts (not bragging, I think it's normal for women) and all want some more immediate progress on communications and meeting. I'm sure I skipped past a lot of princes in frog clothing and vice versa.
Wouldn't it be so much easier if I could have a part time assistant do the dirty work for me? Ha!
Hey...I am a (hopefully well-intentioned) commenter of Kyra's and just stumbled here from her place.
IMO, to sum...I think many there have generally said "quality vs. quantity" and that she deserves more than she gets at home or from her last intimate experience. Not really moving from "Guy x" to "Guy Y" per se but...finding something worthy of who she is.
To that end...I will say I am an apologetic "dreamer" here. I have not been part of the swinging lifestyle....nor am I currently on any adult dating sites. Finding that amazing connection....the person who explores the way you do, hungers the way you do, pushes you and tempts you and satisfies that thirst deep inside...well is worth is't weight in gold any day.
There is a difference I think in the "hook up" and that amazing connection which knocks your socks off. I wish that for you both....and for her.
xx
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